load off my back(sigh)

im gonna miss my teacher ms.kazarian...wow i didnt like her before but today she changed my mind im usually kind of standoffish towards mature crazy teachers but she warmed up to me on my last days...she will be missed...her crazy ideas about how some kids are stuck in the matrix and they cant get out of the matrix...how she totally turned "alice in wonderland" into this perverted story haha....wow this school completely changed me and im glad it did if it wasnt for vail i dont know what i would of done....
oh god i have to go back to my old school where everyone is scene and there in there own little bubble world aarrgghh!!
today was chill one of those days when everything seems to go right when you know your hard work has paid off yup yup it was one of those days well heres some pictures:

got my new nylon magazine in the mail today


got some credits :]


finished my essay


p.s. there was a funny drunk girl at school
she was wasted! lol

when friendships fade

my bestfriend and i have drifted apart its sad....i hate drifting away from "best friends" uugghhh i know that our friendship will never be the same it fucking sucks!!! it makes me pist off that i cant tell her i feel this way cuz i dont like to be vulneruble to people its very hard for me....if i told her id probably end up tearing up....it sucks loosing 4 years of friendship...but fuck it...i got more important people... i miss her she was like a sister to me...and in my mind i think that she didnt even care....ever since i transfered schools this shit has happened...but fuck it...oh well....now when we hang out its like shes completely changed....did i ever know her at all? is what im thinking now. im thinking the answers no. :'[ fake friendship built out of lies,turning a blind cheek when we needed us the most..i dont know if this is a friendship worth saving?

essays

hhmmm...i like to write but i do not like essays thats for sure. im currently working on one for a contest if i win i get a $3,000 scholarship in the tough times right now that would be gladly appreciated. i must say its coming along quite nicely it took me about 5 hours but im still not done at first i had sick writers block, but then this rush of energy came my way it was basically from nothing to something a blank page to actual sentences. i was pretty happy. im on the second draft there might be 2 more...im not satisfied yet, i have a week so that is enough time. my brother was like let me help you ghostwrite for you....i was like no thankyou but in my mind i was FUCK NO! haha...but bless him for trying to help out....haha he wanted to put his "pizzaz" into it but yeah nooo....but anyways its been a good day i had some tasty pizza and one of my all time favorite movies was on t.v. : ghost world :] if you guys have not checked it out yet its a must see GHOST WORLD!


GHOST WORLD

friday?

so yesterday i went to some shitty party at this paisa club terraza jamay on whittier blvd. it smelled like fucking sweat and cigs.it was packed to the walls.. well cuz it was free thats the only reason i went it was an all ages event....for the people 21 and over who could buy the fucking 5$ heinekens i pity you that you had nothing better to do then to be at a shitty dance party full of scenesters and wack ass high-school "hipsters",promoters and paisas. me being 17 i can get away with it hhahaha...the only good part was when they played day and night by crookers but i had fun i enjoyed dancing...even though you could barely move in there...it was aight....i have to say the best part of that day was the weed though ooohhh it was so good...we had some shakes: def-whatever is leftover on the medical table they put it in the little baggies so its basically all the medical shit in one bag :] mmmm..good. we had a good trip...overall pretty good day..the worst part was that my hair was frizzy all day long due to the rain..:[ it looked disgusting i shit you people not lol

Buncha Lunch

some intesesting or somewhat or not at all random facts about me...idk im kinda bored right now haha so here we go :]

1. my name is jackie
2. i am legal on may 3rd 2009 :]
3. im planning to get a tattoo on that day
4. my friends plan on getting me wasted that day im looking forward to it
5. when i used to play barbies when i was little, my husband used to be Nick Carter from the Backstreet Boys :p (ugghhhh)
   
6. i want to join the peace corps when im older
7. i used to get teased alot from elementary through middle school :[
8. i saw my sisters doppelganger at the mall about two years ago my sister was there too but she missed it :[
9. i love children i want to be an elemantary school teacher when im older
   
10. i want 4 kids :]
11. im half mexican/half salvadorean
12. i have low self esteem and i think im ugly
13. i was approached by a modeling scout when i was 15
14. i love intelligent boys that can make me laugh
    
15. i have a thing for metal heads ;]
16. i drink allooott of water each day i pride myself on that
17. i like to be alone but i enjoy the company of others
18. i was born in china town in los angeles :]
    
19. i miss my best friends sometimes i dont think they miss me back
20. i love being wasted or high i think it'll change when im older :/ idk?
21. i used to smoke alot of menthol cigarettes but i dont anymore now i smoke about 2 cigs every two weeks
22. ive had about 3 bad experiences with bunkbeds when i was a child 2 of them leading to physical injury :'[
23. THIS TOO SHALL PASS.....<3

chitchat

geez... i have to go to school tomorrow 'nough said haha
so this weeekend was pretty fun i went over to my cousins house...
i love being over there it feels so simple we just have so much fun together fucking almost pissing my pants and shit like....we were at the local park for like four hours just watching there dog do stupid shit...fuck haha i ate shit omg i was on the slide and i was trying to go on the other part of the slide and i just completely ate it i fell on my shins ouch haha i just laughed it off i can be pretty clumsy haha....but just hanging out with my cousins takes me away from my troubles atleast for a weekend...i love them...oh yeah my dad promised us a dog. he said this lady which is my brothers godmother was supposed to come over and deliver it...ahhh i want it! i still havent gotten the dog :[ hopefully ill get the dog soon..but anyways i find the smallest things make me happy....just hanging out and laughing is the best thing in the world for...good conversatin,good friends and good laughs :]

to stay afloat

i got the very bad news today that my dad lost his job. my mom already lost her job last september...and my brother is the only source of income for our familly..i dont know how were gonna make it...im crying right now, its scary not knowing if your gonna have your own bed to sleep at night...my mom was telling me how theyre laying off workers at my dads job funny enough they worked at the same place together both for about 10 years or more. my mom was saying how if he got layed off we might have to move in with my aunt....i love my cousins there the same age as me there some of my best friends but my uncle and aunt are really uuhhh....yeah i do NOT like being around them for long periods of time...i could barely stand being there for a week...i dont know its all too much right now....i dont know...fuck :'[...fucking government and there fucking recession

pieces and earthquakes

so i wake up eat some yummy tacos, get ready to work out and go on the bus for about an hour to my destination e.l.a.c......my friend danny was there well more like aquaintance i talk to him but not really...well he did want to beat up my friend dylan.....he told me that he got into a fight with a drag queen haha...oh yeah *hes a draq person too lol...hes pretty when he dresses up.:]
well yeah i had a good work out today then i go to my friends house>>> Well it turns out that fed-ex delivered about 5 full boxes of pieces about 450 bucks worth he told me to come down and he'd give me a free one i was so happy my first very own piece i had one before but i shared it with my best friend and then she ended up dropping it :[ and it broke...but as i was saying it was awesome but in the end fed-ex came back and took the boxes back :[ but he kept like 30 of them lol hes gonna sell them haha after that we went to the local park and my friends blazed it... but i didnt want to cuz i was really tired...my friend Marvin was there he was so faded haha it was sooo funny he kept making these weird noises even if u werent faded it was still funny..i mean ive never seen him that way usually hes just quiet but today oh haha damn i love him and tomorrow is his 17th birthday :] i wanna go to his house its always fun there either drunk or drunk ive never been faded at his house hopefully tommorrow i will........BUT OH YEAH...did i mention there was an earthquake like 50 minutes ago....but it was a lil baby one it satrted in san bernandino i guess... haha i thought my sister was shaking my bed lol but then again no one was in the room haha today was a good day :]

HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY MARVIN :]

7-8

my dad is realllly stupid.
gosh he gets me so pist..its funny how he tries to tell us shit when he doesn't even listen to us..i mean i love my dad but we dont really have a "relationship" i guess....when ever i even try to talk to him he manipulates what im trying to say. and ignores everything else completely i think its safe to say that i can blame lots of my problems on him. he cant even see how he himself is. i dont thiunk he ever will see himself how he truly is. he needs help haha i mean i am 100% grateful for having a father.... but sometimes idk its hard to live with him at times but i cant complain i love my whole family but as i stated before its hard to live with them.thank god! the holidays are over :]
haha

new el o vi e

new love...
i have realized that i love to exercise haha
i love the feeling of just blasting my music and working out its a good feeling.
yes me jackie haha im a lazzzzy person. so its a surprise to my family also. they were shocked when i said im gonna go run laps at the park later on.
i love being a couch potato, just watching gossipgirl and eating some chips.
but i like exercising i just do. i enjoy it. today i worked out for an hour..and im gonna work out later also....i hope this lasts haha....maybe i could loose a few lbs. :]
but today was a good day. i feel happy maybe its the endorphins that exercises releases haha.
hopefully i can find someone to workout with my family doesnt want to and neither does my sister want to.. idk i will find someone..:]

latchkey kiddie

so today was my first day at east los angeles community college :]
im taking a p.e. class cuz i need it to graduate in my highschool/....
so it took me like 30 minutes to find the fucking class and i worked up a sweat just doing that haah
so i found it and then i was doing my thang a few machines you know the stairmaster and weights... i was all sweaty then i met up with my friends at the park and we went to go eat at my favorite place arrys :] mmm chili cheese fries haha after working out for 30 minutes blah i feel like a fatass....so we were waiting for our rasberry kush to arrive...we had time to kill and we went to my friends house cuz he lives near there i miss him hes dope :] i would love to live across the street from him.. so the kush came and i took two hits cuz i was already tired from the p.e. ya know and then my friend left :[ oh and i saw my other friend hes cute haha but yeah.... i was all faded haha fucking everything was hilarious today haha....it was a good allrightish day..they were telling me i smelled like sweat and shit haha...i need a shower....
But yeah... that was my day.

blog off my myspace

AAA! so the new years almost here like in 29 hours or somewhat...shit this year went by really quick..this year taught me many life lessons and showed me the people who i need the most...ive definetly changed alot this year it kicked my ass but i deserved it i was fucking up too much,but im grateful now...today was a pretty shitty day i dont know if this will continue on till the new year it most likely will its pretty grimm but i know i can make it out....hopefully everything will be fine...ahhh 2009 is gonna be dope :] i could feel it already going back to mhs,finishing up credits, fucking graduation,getting my car,turning 18, hopefully finding a job, moving out???(maybe),moving to the o.c. fuck its alot its gonna be a big change but im up for it i love change! but yeahhhhh ahhh this is a big year for me....idk i really want to move out cuz i cant take this shit with my family anymore! i need to be on my own! see if i could make it...but im gonna miss my mom and my sister :'[ but yeah 2009 is gonna be big for sure

17%

So there is 17% left on my p.c. damn i need to charge it this is my first "blogger" hhmm.. it seems cool...so right now its 1 am january second 2009. ive made it this far...im thinking right now about friendship. seeing if im a good friend or not. evaluating myself..and it seems grimm from my point of view..i want to change in 09 i want to my "friends" to be able to tell me annything but thats not the case right now. its cuz i shut myself off. i dont know how to stop being this way. oh geez. help anyone?