to all the people i used to know that partied, went to gigs, smoke, drank... u know.
just fucked up in life well some more than others? all the kids i used to see in front of the school after school lol hhmm makes me think where they are now and if they are still wasting there life away with these substances that they go overboard with. some of my friends were those people and now i dont even know where they are now these "punxs" that fucking spange it for money even though they know they could afford the $130 Dr. Marten boots and T.U.K Creepers its just funny to me how hard they try to act but in the end they aint shit trying to prove something by doing nothing "fuck the system" well if they really wanted to fuck up the system go to school become someone important and fuck it up from the inside...so heres to all my old "friends" that try to immitate their punk rock heroes "live fast, die young" where ever you guys are im here at home drinking a 40 for you guys. Oi Oi Oi... to all my little wannabe Sid Vicious'....the ones from my 7th grade homeroom class you know who you are! ... its sad really
maybe this will be them someday???who knows
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
what happened??
Saturday, February 21, 2009
late night
so on friday was the last episode of late night for conan o'brien and now he will be taking over the tonight show for jay leno...so hes leaving new york and coming to l.a. :]
im looking forward to that cuz i fucking love conan o'brien i will probably go watch the tonight show one day good luck conan
CONAN DOING HIS LITTLE JIG
GOOD LUCK
Friday, February 20, 2009
like
theres this guy i kinda like
hes cute haha and hes nice
but idk??
its too early to judge anything
he let me win at connect four
:] lol
agghhh
my friends dont like
him but lately i havent been liking my friends either
so fuck them....
idk??
this is so new
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
awake for the first time in a long time
today something happened i was at the bus stop with my friend vannie and we were talking and laughing and then something happened to me i dont know what it was it was just a realization i guess that i am alive...its as if i were sleeping and then everything came and rushed into me the lights were blurry and idk its hard to describe but i felt alive...i was happy i was me...if u read my post i think last friday it reads i was miserable and such....i felt like a piece of me died this 3day weekend and yesterday when my sister told me something so real that it hurt me to the core that piece died and the new skin is growing slowly but its growing day by day action by action its growing........im realizing all my ugly that i had inside me...it was so horrible....now i am changing...
my friend deleted me off myspace today...i wanted shit to work out but whatevs
my sister got a ticket for ditching school....im dissapointed shes bearly a freshman
it better be the first and the last time she gets a ticket or ditches!!!
but yeah idk im trying
wish me luck!
Sunday, February 15, 2009
up to
it has been two weeks since ive been at my old school and it has brought nothing but bad energy to me i thought everything would be the same between me and my friends but it just turns out they didnt really give a shit about me so fuck them....but my other friends at school do well atleast i know my friend amanda is a real friend been there for me since the sixth grade and i thank her for that....school has had its good moments and its bad.. mostly though im just trying to finish school...i enrolled in an r.o.p class for food and hospitality i might work at this restaurant called pollys pies {haha names funny :D} the class is really fun and i love going to it...hopefully i will get hired... i need the money damn it!
valentines day:
was such a shitty day and
not bcuz i didnt have anyone to share it with... but just because of all the drama me and my cousins went through with their dad that day it just made me really deppressed
the day started off allright and then just crashed and burned and diedddd....
atleast i got to chug a beer on the d.l. at their home and i found a new purse at goodwill :]
today:
today i didnt do much stayed home sick and watched Superbad with my sister
did some Fafsa things, took a nap, went to walmart,did some homework,myspaced it a lil bit,
and counted all my change from my change jar i have $28.22 in change :] and now im blogging it
very boring day....im hoping that i will be better tommorrow i dont have a cough anymore but still got the headache and siffles :[ oh yeah and i wrote a poem today :]
im gonna submit it in this scholarship thing
tomorrow we dont have school.. i dont know what will happen hopefully i get out of the house and maybe go watch a movie :]
Friday, February 13, 2009
heaven knows im miserable now..
i left i did not want to be at school anymore, today is friday the thirteenth 2009.
im sick and i went to school....after 4th period i left school through the back
i just could not take it anymore...im sick i have a runny nose, a cough, headache and etc.. and emotionally sick when your just drained.....theres those days where everything that ive had inside just explodes and i do stupid things whether ditching school or whatever...i mean i could of just gone to the nurses office but i didnt want to leave that way...maybe i could of gotten caught but i didnt really give a shit... i just needed not to be there anymore i cant stand that school or my "friends" or anything right now..i just needed to leave.. when i was walking away from the school i felt dazed and everything was so dark...nothing seemed familiar every person i saw made me feel paranoid or angry or scared....and now im home doing nothing and miserable...my parents are just arguing...i feel so empty right now, so fucking numb, like a fucking fraud...
oh yeah and HERES TO YOU VALENTINES DAY
Sunday, February 8, 2009
i wonder if
im a creature of habit i like being home and just chilling or going to the same old kick it spots with the same friends and the same weed or drink... in a couple of months i wont be in highschool anymore (yay!!!) it will be a complete different fucking world i suppose that's what i always hear. i hope it wont hurt too much when i cant do the familiar things and im hoping i get new habits with new people and a new town or whatever....i hope i dont stay here and go back to the familiar loves of my life to that boy i "loved" to the same useless thoughts running around in my head....
maybe i will comprehend new ideas and i can be less shy and more outgoing...less introverted idk thats all i gots to say for right now....i just hope i will change cuz thats what i need the most
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
an interest of mine
im currently reading Siddharta by Herman Hesse in my world lit. class
ive been truly fascinated by Buddhism since i was about 15
i first came to know more about it in my social studies class, that was the only part in the
class where i was truly awake and it inspired me to want to better
i fell in love with the religion i hope to study it more when im older....
its a shame that i still havent been in a buddhist temple and theres one about 20 minutes
away on the metro...so i will see if i can make it there this month...
Sunday, February 1, 2009
bubbles of thoughts
im watching a bootleg copy of twilight
it sucks haha
edward cullen is cute
i gots myself a nifty new haircut
:]
im still sad though
ive lost my friend...??
my first day at mhs is tomorrow im so
not looking forward to it...
fuck drama its not worth it!
this weekend was a strange one
not one to be forgotten anytime soon...
i cant wait till i see my nephew jaylin
hes supposed to be due this week!
im excited.....
